I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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