It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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