remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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