i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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