She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
