i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
