Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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