I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
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we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
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All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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