so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
