need another drink. this is the easiest way
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
