let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
