my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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