I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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