My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
