if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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