I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
