It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Watching her eat just hurts me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
