How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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