I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i think my cat just said my name.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
