just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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