Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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