Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
