Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
