i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
