Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
