She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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