all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
