did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
