Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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