Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
