I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
