I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
