there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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