i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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