fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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