In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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