she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize