At least make sure they are 18
Why
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
