you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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