so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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