oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
