Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
