when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
