You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
sarcasm needs its own font
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
