In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
