tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
