Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this boner is exhausting
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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