eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
