You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
