Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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