I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
