you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
