My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
