hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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