So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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