You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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