you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize