1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
