What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask