Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month

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  (843): I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month http://tfl.nu/ssqy
  Replies (8) Good night (2687) Bad night (584)
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  (818): View more from California

  It's like a parade of train wrecks.

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  (818): It's like a parade of train wrecks. http://tfl.nu/4fe9
  Replies (22) Good night (941) Bad night (1960)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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  (864): she really just asked how mermaids reproduce. http://tfl.nu/5doz
  Replies (41) Good night (3800) Bad night (910)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she's a dina-saur

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  (201): you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct (973): that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand (201): she's a dina-saur http://tfl.nu/b0aw
  Replies (32) Good night (5471) Bad night (1043)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

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  (215): Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober" http://tfl.nu/vzc2
  Replies (6) Good night (4118) Bad night (860)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?

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  (281): Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner? http://tfl.nu/iojv
  Replies (18) Good night (944) Bad night (3770)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.

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  (732): Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related. http://tfl.nu/sl34
  Replies (5) Good night (2416) Bad night (879)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.

  (415): View more from California

  No.

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  (920): Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay. (415): No. http://tfl.nu/olk0
  Replies (8) Good night (2068) Bad night (696)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.

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  (781): I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name. http://tfl.nu/dhok
  Replies (15) Good night (715) Bad night (1267)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.

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  (775): No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon. http://tfl.nu/9xyw
  Replies (7) Good night (1704) Bad night (541)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You're so thoughtful.

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  (813): There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad. (701): You're so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/53am
  Replies (1) Good night (1355) Bad night (513)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me

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  (973): An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me http://tfl.nu/o6hs
  Replies (7) Good night (809) Bad night (451)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks

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  (734): Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks http://tfl.nu/mb18
  Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (789)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.

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  (912): It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time. http://tfl.nu/lxl4
  Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (387)
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  (671): View more from Guam

  I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same

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  (671): I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same http://tfl.nu/5ogh
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (217)

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