drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
