Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
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still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.