you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?