gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
