I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Two words: nipple clamps
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