Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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