hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
