i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize