we're blogging at a bar
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
