id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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